MFA Catch Up

In NON-MFA news, Anne Lamott is doing a reading in Pasadena from her new book on Wednesday April 14!! I see Anne Lamott as a huge influence on my writing, and I cannot wait to finally get a chance to meet her! J Also, at this very time in 30 days, Danny and I will be on a plane traveling to visit our friends Tucker and Amanda in South Carolina!

In MFA news, I have heard from 8 of the 9 schools I applied to. One school, Hollins University in Roanoke, VA, has still not sent a rejection to me, however I am assuming a rejection as many other people have been accepted to the program already.

I received my official rejection from the University of Arkansas last week. Even after all of the rejections I have received, it still burns. This one was fully expected, but it hurt a little more just because UA is my dad’s alma-mater and I was hoping to be a Razorback like he was, along with the added bonus of living within a few hours of my dad’s family, who I do not know extremely well but who I love more than anything. I would love to experience life with them for once. And my opportunity to do so has been taken away.

In more MFA news, I have officially decided to turn down my offer of admission to the University of Baltimore for several reasons. One being that the communication I have had with the school has been very unpleasant, with little return contact and obvious interdepartmental miscommunications. I have seen how these errors can really damage a student’s experience while obtaining their education, and it is something I am absolutely unwilling to put myself through. The second reason I have decided to turn it down is the lack of teaching opportunities. The career I am pursuing is teaching in the university setting. If I do not obtain the valuable teaching experience that many institutions offer, I am wasting precious opportunities to practice. This would be foolish on my part. The third reason I am turning down my offer at UB is the lack of funding. I am very aware that there are programs out there that offer no funding at all, and that is completely fine. But if I am going to go to a school without any funding, I WANT an excellent departmental communication structure and teaching experience. There is no way I will pay for an education I am not fully behind.

I have decided to reapply next year with what I hope will be stronger writing samples. In the time between now and next January, I am planning on doing the following things to strengthen my applications:

1. Take an English class or two at the local community college to boost my English background, which will hopefully make me more competitive for a teaching assistantship.
2. Study for the GRE and take a GRE prep course to boost my verbal scores.
3. Submit finished works for publication to enhance my résumé.
4. Workshop a brand new piece of writing to submit, that will hopefully be stronger.

I am also planning on doing more research on the schools I will be applying to, going so far as to reading student publications. I have found that many people get rejected from schools simply because they are not a “good fit”… meaning that there isn’t anyone on staff who has the capability to mentor them. So I am going to find writing similar to mine and apply at those programs. I figure, if I get excited about programs that are meant for me, how can I lose? J

Rejection #1

The first rejection came today from Hunter College in New York City. It stung a lot more than I thought it would. I opened up my email and there it was… 

From: Hunter College Graduate School 

Subject: Your Decision Is Available Online Now

I was terrified, but at the same time, ecstatic. It’s only March 2nd. It MUST be an acceptance, right? Of course I was wrong and after just a few seconds my dream of living and writing in New York City, which I have ached for over the past 3 years, was quickly and suddenly shattered.

It gave me a bit of a shake down. My confidence in my application materials has plummeted. My GRE scores weren’t high enough… my personal statement lacked any kind of personality… my writing samples were interesting but immature… the list keeps going.

I wonder how much longer I will feel this way. Hopefully the next bit of news I receive is positive so I don’t keep spiraling downwards.

Tetris and the Irish

I have been a huge Tetris fan since I was around 10 or 11 years old. Currently, I have a free version on my computer called Sporktris, and my boyfriend Danny enjoys teasing me about my obsessive nature when it comes to this wonderful, finger-aching, time consuming game. I love leaving one column open, building up the rest, and then knocking out four rows at a time. Not too many people know that doing it this way gives you more points than getting rid of the rows one at a time.

Today was a big Tetris game for me.

For the past week, Danny and I have been talking about visiting Notre Dame. We want to go so that we have a weekday and a weekend day at ND so I can get a tour and visit the Creative Writing Department while they are open on a Friday and, of course, so we can see a football game on Saturday. We went back and forth about what weekend, tried to figure out what tickets to get and see if we even had enough money to take a trip before Thanksgiving (yikes!) It didn't look like it was going to work. My work couldn't guarantee I could take off work during the week before thanksgiving... plane tickets were priced ridiculously high due to it being the weekend before a holiday... football tickets were non-existent... and hotels in South Bend are priced at $200 a room due to it being a home game weekend.

But then today happened, and everything fell in to place. Not even just the things we were hoping for, but circumstances far beyond my personal hopes. My parents are giving us a free ticket, knocking out $350. We found INCREDIBLE tickets online, and this kind man knocked a huge chunk off of the price because Danny's grandfather is an alum of ND, saving us $100.

Danny's best friend has a "really cool aunt" living in Chicago (where we are flying in) that is going to let us stay with her zero dollars, getting rid of what could have been $250-$300 in hotel costs. We might also get to use their car (still in the works) which would save us another $100 on renting one. Lastly, Danny's brother is in the Naval Academy, and ND will be playing Navy on the 7th, a game that all students at the Naval Academy get to attend. We will not only get to see his brother Jordan, we will get to spend much needed quality time with him. Danny is also going to help me study for the GRE on the plane, because the test is the day after we get back! (CRAZY!!! hahaha) Plus, I will probably get to visit Columbia College Chicago, which is my number 2 graduate school choice, for an hour or so.

It's like all of the little blocks, the blue L shape, the pink backwards L shape, the red Z shape, the yellow backward Z shape, and the orange rotatable T, were all in this weird arrangement that kind of fit, but there was something huge missing. Then the wonderful green long block graced the screen, and fell into the far left column that was still empty, and everything came together. It's wonderful. I cannot wait for this weekend. :)

GRE Freak Out

I specifically chose schools that did not require the GRE because I did not want to take the GRE. Well, apparently I have been falling fast in love with Notre Dame and happened to misread their application requirements. What I read as "we do not require the GRE test" actually said "we do not require the GRE subject test." The general test, however, IS required.

And now I am officially freaking out! I signed up for the GRE last Monday to take on November 9th so I could apply at a few back up schools that have extended deadlines if I don't get in anywhere. But now I will HAVE to send in my scores to Notre Dame even if they are horrible. I am terrified! I am so in love with Notre Dame and want so badly to attend as a graduate student. But it could all be thwarted simply because I didn't read the requirements correctly.

Damn it!

I really hope I can some how pull an amazing score out of nowhere. This is all I have wanted for a really long time. I want to be in a community of writers who are not only challenged by writing, but by God as well. And I am nervous that all of my hard work over the past 4 months might be a waste.

The Evil, Evil, Evil GRE

So I did the stupidest thing today. I logged onto ETS and decided to take the Graduate Record Examination even though I don't have to in order to get into the schools I am applying to.

Curse my need for perfection. The only reason I am doing this is because I want to have a better shot at getting a Teaching Assistantship. And, of course, to quickly apply to other graduate programs with later application dates when I inevitably fail to get into the ones I am currently applying to.

I really don't want to take the GRE, but at the same time I do. At least I have the knowledge that I don't HAVE to send the test scores if they are horrible.

Bleh, the last thing I want to do is study for this test. I hate tests! I love writing, but I hate tests!

Watch, I am going to do better on the math portion than on the verbal/writing portion. (I'm not joking.)

2008

So it’s a new year. 2008 has officially arrived. This is going to be a big year for me. I will be taking out my first official loan in January, turning 21 in February, and I will be finishing up my final semester of college and graduating in May. After graduation I will have to pay my first bills from college and will be renting my first real apartment.

And, the really big news is that, hopefully, I will be moving across the country in August and starting graduate school in September.

I have been toying with the idea of grad school for a while. I searched online for countless hours trying to figure out which program would fit me best. The three universities I selected were APU and UCLA in SoCal, and Northeastern, which is located in Boston. UCLA was my first choice. It is an 11-month intensive program and my dad told me I could live in his condo in Century City while I attended school so I wouldn’t have to worry about rent. I would have my master’s degree at 22 years old. But, unfortunately, I was too late. Deadlines had passed by the time I even thought about applying. Then I thought about APU. They have a great Student Affairs program, and if I worked an on-campus full-time job, it would be paid for. But I realized staying in the APU bubble would feel a little too claustrophobic. I needed something with a little distance.

Then I found Northeastern. As I read about the program, I realized how incredibly it would fit what I was looking for. When I saw that the deadline was January 15th, I was bummed. I still have yet to take my GRE, so I decided to take a year off and apply to go to grad school next year. But Northeastern was just sitting on my mind. So I browsed the website again.

Needless to say I was shocked and excited to find that the deadline to apply for the program I want to be a part of, College Student Development and Counseling, is a month later than all of the other programs and that is ONLY if I want an assistantship, which I don’t have to do. So, technically, I don’t have to send anything in until August 1st at the very latest.

I can’t even begin to express how excited I am. I called my Uncle Jim, who lives in Hamilton, MA, and talked to him for a while about what would happen if I moved out there. My uncle is my dad’s twin brother, and I have always been extremely close with his family. He has a HUGE house and there is a kind of loft apartment that is over his garage that my two cousins have always used as a game room. Both of them are in college now and Jim told me I could LIVE THERE if I moved out for school… FOR FREE. Hamilton is only a 30-minute drive from Boston, and it is a perfect place to live until I find friends and a job and an apartment closer to Northeastern.

I freak out all of the time. I recently realized that I have anxiety. I get nervous. The thought of graduating – the idea of starting over with a life separate from everything I have grown accustomed to over the past 4 years – is terrifying. Well, WAS terrifying… until this. Now, all I can feel is a rush.

It might not work out. I might end up living in an apartment in Pasadena and just being a waitress for a while. But it is a cool thought. When I moved to New York for the summer, I came back with the decision made that living in that big city is probably not for me. But the idea that I could start over in a place I have known for so long, the idea that I could start over but still have family and somewhere safe to call home, is extremely satisfying and a great way to start out the new year.